10 Reasons You Should Buy The Macbook Air

(Tuesday, January 22, 2008)

The new Macbook Air is out, but there aren't that many people who don't want to buy it because it's too expensive or too thin. They are wrong. You need to buy this laptop. Here is why.

1. Show Off
We all know you want to do this. After purchasing a Macbook Air, the first thing you need to do is to go up to a friend who still has the original Macbook, and show them that you are the man. Get right up in their face and be like "Dude. I have a frickening Macbook Air. What's that piece of crap you're carrying around? What? Is that a Macbook? Heh, when was the last time you were in an Apple store? 1985?" Show them the amount of money you have. Show them that you are better then they are. Show them who's king of the neighborhood.

2. Pretend you are a Bomber
You know what the first thing people would think if you walked into an airport pulling a metal object out of a manila envelope? "He's got a bomb!" The police would come rushing over along with the bomb squad and you'd create this huge scare. Then, suddenly pull out your Macbook Air. The reactions would be awesome.

3. Send rude messages to your neighbors.
I know you've got that rowdy neighbor who is deaf and plays his music like his stereo system is half way around the globe. You want to tell him to shut up, but he has locked his door. The solution? Either type a nice 'Shut the fuck up' into Appleworks or get a picture of whatever-the-hell-you-think-is-gross and slip the computer under the door. Of course, you'd probably lose the laptop, but it was worth it.

4. No Games
Not a gaming laptop, but no worry. You don't needs games to keep you happy! You don't need to waste time playing useless games when you could be working on that new project that your boss assigned you. Your boss would be so proud.

5. No Optical Drive
Another great thing. Without an Optical Drive, you don't need to waste your money buying all those DVDs that you watch just one time. You don't waste money on the newest games. You don't waste money on antivirus and productivity software. You will save so much money that you'll end up being able to pay for the computer just using your savings.

6. Play in the dark
There is a backlit keyboard on the laptop. What does that mean for you? It means you'll be able to stay up at 3 o'clock in the morning working on a last minute assignment, and you'll actually be able to see what you're typing. Sure, you'll probably damage your eyes beyond repair, but at least you get your work done.

7. 5 Hour Battery Time
You'll only get 5 hours our of this battery. This is the best thing ever, because you're not going to want to waste those 5 hours. You only have 5 hours to do something, and wasting your time browsing sites like Digg or playing around with a flash game isn't the smartest idea if you have something due the next day. Having only 5 hours of battery life is the best way to improve productivity.

8. Hide your porn.
Imagine this. You're in your cubicle, browsing porn on your Macbook Air, when all of a sudden, someone runs into the room yelling "The boss is coming! Someone told him people have been looking at porn during work! He's coming to confiscate all laptops". If you owned a large laptop, you'd be screwed over, because you would have anywhere to hide it. But with the Macbook Air, it's a totally different story. You could hide it just about anywhere.

-You can hide the laptop inside your shirt and people wouldn't even know unless you arched your back.
-You can stuff this inside a binder or in a stack of manila folders. Yeah. Always keep manila folders around.
-That really thin desk drawer? Hello new best friend.
- Sit on it. Apple makes tough products. Don't be afraid to sit on your Macbook Air. Remember, it's saving your job.

9. Be the center of attention
Everyone knows this laptop is expensive. Everyone knows that whoever owns it makes over a million a year. Carrying a Macbook Air around is like strutting into a soup kitchen with Bill Gates on your back. Everyone will worship someone with that much money. Be that 'someone'. Be envied. Be loved. Be the first one to be robbed.

10. Spoil yourself.
You deserve this top of the line laptop. You deserve to have this thin sexy product. It is made for you, and even has your name carved at the bottom. Don't hesitate to get this. You deserve it. You've done so many great things, so why shouldn't you get something like this? It's the newest, thinnest, coolest laptop in the market. Spoil yourself. Get this.

Have that $3,000 saved up from your kid's college fund? It's time to use it. Don't worry. Your kid won't mind. They will never stop thanking you.

Posted in Labels: , Posted by Bookmark Geek at 4:00 PM  


  1. Anonymous Says:

    That's pretty funny man.

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